Of Jeremy Mhire and Sweet cravings

Woke up by the silent sound of my mother coming into my room probably checking for laundry...then i tried very hard to continue my dream in which i was apparently trying to explain to someone about something interesting. Then my physical pain is keeping me awake, but which gives me a reason to rest...it was abit excruciating...tomorrow i will be okay :)

Today i can smile. Tomorrow at work, i hope i can still smile. I'm counting on my inspiration to cheer me up. But then i also realise that it all depends on my mind and willpower. What's more, something new is coming up this week, ush...ohhh there it is, my stomach pain is coming back at the slightest mention of the thing that scares me *shudder*...

Well! Let's live in the present...and relax.

Jeremy Mhire. He was someone i admired about 7 years ago. He and some other 4 people. All righttt i admit my teenage self was smitten by him (hee hee hee!) and it was just a normal, teen interest. Music. Boys. Bands...

Sorry for the cliched expression, but it's not just any band. It has entered my life, and changed my perspective. Forever. And enhanced my beliefs.

I like the fact that they are different than me but they taught me something vital for my own religion. Controversial? If you think it so. Since touched by their music, my journey with a much much higher awareness of HIS presence started. Everyday, every second.

And i faced alot of bumps and unfortunately, hard falls along the way. Suffered. All by myself.

Presently, i'm reaching, as i always have been, for my own sweet Melody which will accompany me along the road.

Before i forget, ALHAMDULILLAH. The religion of Peace is my own. I love it. I love our Prophet and i feel for his cause. But i also feel saddened that his people are so bad now. Bad is a very small word to decribe.

Read the Salawat and i always feel calmed. All my troubles seem to fade away to be replaced by colours of life.

As this time of month, i have such alarmingly unique cravings for sweet foods and drinks. Well actually i don't eat so much of sweetness but the amount i have taken today is making me feel so much like a Hyppo without the Blue. And bloated feeling doesn't help. What do i do? Down plain water as much as i can (mineral water. I have an acquired taste for it which makes it very difficult for me to take distilled, reverse osmosis, or simple boiled tap water. There goes my plan to reduce buying plastic bottles. Argh.) and trying to take out all my guiltiness in here. Oh, haha.

Oh, i was talking about astrology last night, right?

Linda Goodman is THE author to look out for if you want the real information on western astrology. Provided that you are strong in your own beliefs, her Star Signs book is also quite enlightening (though i wouldn't recommend to my own future child to read it, unless he/she acquires it after i have properly introduced them to our CREATOR and the religion of PEACE). I would recommend anyone with an interest in signs, to read Linda Goodman's Sun Signs. THAT, is one of my favourite literature of all time.

Sun sign. That is the one determined by our date of birth. So mine is on 13th November 1983, that would make me a Scorpio Sun. Regarding the date of birth, it must be the right one. There are so many unfortunate people who are either orphaned or had their birth dates wrongly written on the certificates. I myself checked with my parents numerous times (much to their amusement and slight irritation) about my birthdate. Hehe...well my father says i surely can't be someone else's baby because i took on alot of his traits. Minus the drawing talent though, tsk tsk...and at the time i was born, i was the only baby in the hospital. Want to know something interesting? TUNE hotel in KL was once the hospital i was born in, haha...and my mother says her room was on the side facing the monorail track now...gosh, so exciting looking at it, reminiscing how i 'landed' there and became my parent's 1st baby and terribly loony daughter...

*clears throat* okay. Did i say i was loony? And yet i told you i was a (confirmed) Scorpio? How can there be a loony Scorpio?

Now here's where the TIME of birth comes into view. I know it's ridiculously hard to actually know your birth time, most people don't care about it. But it is important if you want to know why you are not typical of your Sun sign. In my case, why am i not like a real Scorpio like they always described?

For this one, you have to begrudgingly trust the one who recorded your time of birth and just leave it at that. No use cursing them if you feel there's a mistake. If the time is not available, never despair...the time is just to note our ASCENDANT or RISING SIGN. If the time is not known, we can still roughly calculate all our signs, Sun, Moon, Mercury, etc just by the full birth date (day/month/year) and still come up with your own individual picture.

All right...the probable dummy wrote...sorry, i mean my birth certificate records that i was born 1 pm. 1 in the afternoon. 1300. What, i was born exact on the hour? Sorry, sorry....haha...okay let's stop acting sceptical and go ahead.

From the time, we can calculate our BIRTH CHART. Listing all our signs by planet. Yes, i said planets. More on that later.

My Ascendant or Rising sign is: AQUARIUS. THE craziest, looniest, sign in the zodiac. AQUARIUS + SCORPIO = contradiction of sorts.

The bonus fact: My MOON sign is also: in AQUARIUS.

Here we have 3 forefront aspects of personality in Astrology: The Sun, the Moon, and the Ascendant. I am a Scorpio + Aquarius + Aquarius.

If you ever meet me, you would see these effects. A Scorpio with a double Aquarius just can't seem to be taken too seriously (which adds up to my frustration when too many people misunderstand me)...

The Sun is our BASIC character. No matter what moon or ascendant or other planets we have, we are always our Sun. I am always a Scorpio, my basic self and my character. Period.

But the 'pengacaus' (those other planets i mean) are there to ADD VARIETY (or spice) to our personality.

The ascendant is our APPEARANCE. Tada! It's our mask that hides our Sun. This is where whe start to become different from others of our Sun sign. I have the appearance of an Aquarian girl: child-like. Dreamy expression. Seemingly detached from the world. (ouch...) Sometimes awkward. Sometimes i look tall. But actually i'm just of average height. My hair has its own life. Partly frizzy. With a distinctive curl on my ponytail. I have at least one weird feature on my face/body (i have numerous). But this part of the self is also the one that ONLY the ones closest to us recognise. It is our inner personality. I'm loony, crazy, snoopy, smurfy, garfield girl all the way. With my family members and close friends.

The Moon sign is our EMOTIONAL self. Aha....and a tiny little catch: We show our Moon sign when we meet a new person or new people for the first time. This is our HABITS conditioned from early life, or childhood. Habits. Which dictates manners. Habits which we get from our conditioning from our parents or elders.

*sigh*....My Moon is also Aquarius. Unfortunate. People are always going to see my dreamy detached demeanour always.

The Moon also shows emotional states. Yes. I am the scientist. Detached from feelings. I do not feel, i think too much. My Moon and Ascendant contradicts my Sun so much it creates frustration. When i feel, my Aquarian side tells me to think rationally (which is actually a good thing, considering the Scorpio nature to be swept away by their passions).

So where is my Scorpio? THIS is me. The Scorpio writing. I am private, i am quiet, i am deep in some ways. I was born sturdy. I can be dark, i can choose to be light. When i like, i like deeply. When i hate, i do it with vengeance (this is more pronounced in childhood...now i'm subdued, i hope). I have jealousy (again, i see this only in childhood, when my father ignored me for all the other kids who, in my small girl's eyes, don't seem to have their own father to play with *fuming* but i have my mother who is always there for me, bless her). And many other dark things i keep inside and bringing out my lighter aspects.

Tomorrow is a week at work. Good night...i shall continue.