The Mind's in Disturbia....
Just my caller ringtone. My mum's irritated by it and now i had to get a special caller ringtone just for her (her fave song la...).
I seem to write alot in brackets. It keeps popping up. Blame it on Emily Byrd Starr for infiltrating into me with her styles of writings. And a touch of Anne Shirley.
A new post after a few weeks...i was busy with that new responsibility of mine at work. Fate was, and still is, at work, now. The person i wanted to ignore....just happened to be 'stuck' working with me. How can i ignore then?
A heart is disturbed. It's...restless.
Feels..like being brushed by something so feathery light...it's pleasant.
'Windows' are beautiful.
The soul is almost bared.
Oh, i got a very beautiful dark-red heart from my dear colleague...a kind November-born man...his own design. It gets gradually bigger, and finally, it's enveloped in gold sparkly embellishments, and it's against a red background, which inspires me to interpret it:
The heart was in darkness. It grows, ever so surely and steadily. It grows with PASSION. And when it matures...it finds Love, and be enveloped by the beautifying effects of it...reaching to greatness, or POWER if you could call it...yes, Love is a Powerful entity...and many facets to it. Oh, but i'm digressing here...
This heart design has shown me subtly, of my goal in life. Which i DID NOT see till now.
09 March 2009
Of Jeremy Mhire and Sweet cravings
Woke up by the silent sound of my mother coming into my room probably checking for laundry...then i tried very hard to continue my dream in which i was apparently trying to explain to someone about something interesting. Then my physical pain is keeping me awake, but which gives me a reason to rest...it was abit excruciating...tomorrow i will be okay :)
Today i can smile. Tomorrow at work, i hope i can still smile. I'm counting on my inspiration to cheer me up. But then i also realise that it all depends on my mind and willpower. What's more, something new is coming up this week, ush...ohhh there it is, my stomach pain is coming back at the slightest mention of the thing that scares me *shudder*...
Well! Let's live in the present...and relax.
Jeremy Mhire. He was someone i admired about 7 years ago. He and some other 4 people. All righttt i admit my teenage self was smitten by him (hee hee hee!) and it was just a normal, teen interest. Music. Boys. Bands...
Sorry for the cliched expression, but it's not just any band. It has entered my life, and changed my perspective. Forever. And enhanced my beliefs.
I like the fact that they are different than me but they taught me something vital for my own religion. Controversial? If you think it so. Since touched by their music, my journey with a much much higher awareness of HIS presence started. Everyday, every second.
And i faced alot of bumps and unfortunately, hard falls along the way. Suffered. All by myself.
Presently, i'm reaching, as i always have been, for my own sweet Melody which will accompany me along the road.
Before i forget, ALHAMDULILLAH. The religion of Peace is my own. I love it. I love our Prophet and i feel for his cause. But i also feel saddened that his people are so bad now. Bad is a very small word to decribe.
Read the Salawat and i always feel calmed. All my troubles seem to fade away to be replaced by colours of life.
As this time of month, i have such alarmingly unique cravings for sweet foods and drinks. Well actually i don't eat so much of sweetness but the amount i have taken today is making me feel so much like a Hyppo without the Blue. And bloated feeling doesn't help. What do i do? Down plain water as much as i can (mineral water. I have an acquired taste for it which makes it very difficult for me to take distilled, reverse osmosis, or simple boiled tap water. There goes my plan to reduce buying plastic bottles. Argh.) and trying to take out all my guiltiness in here. Oh, haha.
Oh, i was talking about astrology last night, right?
Linda Goodman is THE author to look out for if you want the real information on western astrology. Provided that you are strong in your own beliefs, her Star Signs book is also quite enlightening (though i wouldn't recommend to my own future child to read it, unless he/she acquires it after i have properly introduced them to our CREATOR and the religion of PEACE). I would recommend anyone with an interest in signs, to read Linda Goodman's Sun Signs. THAT, is one of my favourite literature of all time.
Sun sign. That is the one determined by our date of birth. So mine is on 13th November 1983, that would make me a Scorpio Sun. Regarding the date of birth, it must be the right one. There are so many unfortunate people who are either orphaned or had their birth dates wrongly written on the certificates. I myself checked with my parents numerous times (much to their amusement and slight irritation) about my birthdate. Hehe...well my father says i surely can't be someone else's baby because i took on alot of his traits. Minus the drawing talent though, tsk tsk...and at the time i was born, i was the only baby in the hospital. Want to know something interesting? TUNE hotel in KL was once the hospital i was born in, haha...and my mother says her room was on the side facing the monorail track now...gosh, so exciting looking at it, reminiscing how i 'landed' there and became my parent's 1st baby and terribly loony daughter...
*clears throat* okay. Did i say i was loony? And yet i told you i was a (confirmed) Scorpio? How can there be a loony Scorpio?
Now here's where the TIME of birth comes into view. I know it's ridiculously hard to actually know your birth time, most people don't care about it. But it is important if you want to know why you are not typical of your Sun sign. In my case, why am i not like a real Scorpio like they always described?
For this one, you have to begrudgingly trust the one who recorded your time of birth and just leave it at that. No use cursing them if you feel there's a mistake. If the time is not available, never despair...the time is just to note our ASCENDANT or RISING SIGN. If the time is not known, we can still roughly calculate all our signs, Sun, Moon, Mercury, etc just by the full birth date (day/month/year) and still come up with your own individual picture.
All right...the probable dummy wrote...sorry, i mean my birth certificate records that i was born 1 pm. 1 in the afternoon. 1300. What, i was born exact on the hour? Sorry, sorry....haha...okay let's stop acting sceptical and go ahead.
From the time, we can calculate our BIRTH CHART. Listing all our signs by planet. Yes, i said planets. More on that later.
My Ascendant or Rising sign is: AQUARIUS. THE craziest, looniest, sign in the zodiac. AQUARIUS + SCORPIO = contradiction of sorts.
The bonus fact: My MOON sign is also: in AQUARIUS.
Here we have 3 forefront aspects of personality in Astrology: The Sun, the Moon, and the Ascendant. I am a Scorpio + Aquarius + Aquarius.
If you ever meet me, you would see these effects. A Scorpio with a double Aquarius just can't seem to be taken too seriously (which adds up to my frustration when too many people misunderstand me)...
The Sun is our BASIC character. No matter what moon or ascendant or other planets we have, we are always our Sun. I am always a Scorpio, my basic self and my character. Period.
But the 'pengacaus' (those other planets i mean) are there to ADD VARIETY (or spice) to our personality.
The ascendant is our APPEARANCE. Tada! It's our mask that hides our Sun. This is where whe start to become different from others of our Sun sign. I have the appearance of an Aquarian girl: child-like. Dreamy expression. Seemingly detached from the world. (ouch...) Sometimes awkward. Sometimes i look tall. But actually i'm just of average height. My hair has its own life. Partly frizzy. With a distinctive curl on my ponytail. I have at least one weird feature on my face/body (i have numerous). But this part of the self is also the one that ONLY the ones closest to us recognise. It is our inner personality. I'm loony, crazy, snoopy, smurfy, garfield girl all the way. With my family members and close friends.
The Moon sign is our EMOTIONAL self. Aha....and a tiny little catch: We show our Moon sign when we meet a new person or new people for the first time. This is our HABITS conditioned from early life, or childhood. Habits. Which dictates manners. Habits which we get from our conditioning from our parents or elders.
*sigh*....My Moon is also Aquarius. Unfortunate. People are always going to see my dreamy detached demeanour always.
The Moon also shows emotional states. Yes. I am the scientist. Detached from feelings. I do not feel, i think too much. My Moon and Ascendant contradicts my Sun so much it creates frustration. When i feel, my Aquarian side tells me to think rationally (which is actually a good thing, considering the Scorpio nature to be swept away by their passions).
So where is my Scorpio? THIS is me. The Scorpio writing. I am private, i am quiet, i am deep in some ways. I was born sturdy. I can be dark, i can choose to be light. When i like, i like deeply. When i hate, i do it with vengeance (this is more pronounced in childhood...now i'm subdued, i hope). I have jealousy (again, i see this only in childhood, when my father ignored me for all the other kids who, in my small girl's eyes, don't seem to have their own father to play with *fuming* but i have my mother who is always there for me, bless her). And many other dark things i keep inside and bringing out my lighter aspects.
Tomorrow is a week at work. Good night...i shall continue.
Today i can smile. Tomorrow at work, i hope i can still smile. I'm counting on my inspiration to cheer me up. But then i also realise that it all depends on my mind and willpower. What's more, something new is coming up this week, ush...ohhh there it is, my stomach pain is coming back at the slightest mention of the thing that scares me *shudder*...
Well! Let's live in the present...and relax.
Jeremy Mhire. He was someone i admired about 7 years ago. He and some other 4 people. All righttt i admit my teenage self was smitten by him (hee hee hee!) and it was just a normal, teen interest. Music. Boys. Bands...
Sorry for the cliched expression, but it's not just any band. It has entered my life, and changed my perspective. Forever. And enhanced my beliefs.
I like the fact that they are different than me but they taught me something vital for my own religion. Controversial? If you think it so. Since touched by their music, my journey with a much much higher awareness of HIS presence started. Everyday, every second.
And i faced alot of bumps and unfortunately, hard falls along the way. Suffered. All by myself.
Presently, i'm reaching, as i always have been, for my own sweet Melody which will accompany me along the road.
Before i forget, ALHAMDULILLAH. The religion of Peace is my own. I love it. I love our Prophet and i feel for his cause. But i also feel saddened that his people are so bad now. Bad is a very small word to decribe.
Read the Salawat and i always feel calmed. All my troubles seem to fade away to be replaced by colours of life.
As this time of month, i have such alarmingly unique cravings for sweet foods and drinks. Well actually i don't eat so much of sweetness but the amount i have taken today is making me feel so much like a Hyppo without the Blue. And bloated feeling doesn't help. What do i do? Down plain water as much as i can (mineral water. I have an acquired taste for it which makes it very difficult for me to take distilled, reverse osmosis, or simple boiled tap water. There goes my plan to reduce buying plastic bottles. Argh.) and trying to take out all my guiltiness in here. Oh, haha.
Oh, i was talking about astrology last night, right?
Linda Goodman is THE author to look out for if you want the real information on western astrology. Provided that you are strong in your own beliefs, her Star Signs book is also quite enlightening (though i wouldn't recommend to my own future child to read it, unless he/she acquires it after i have properly introduced them to our CREATOR and the religion of PEACE). I would recommend anyone with an interest in signs, to read Linda Goodman's Sun Signs. THAT, is one of my favourite literature of all time.
Sun sign. That is the one determined by our date of birth. So mine is on 13th November 1983, that would make me a Scorpio Sun. Regarding the date of birth, it must be the right one. There are so many unfortunate people who are either orphaned or had their birth dates wrongly written on the certificates. I myself checked with my parents numerous times (much to their amusement and slight irritation) about my birthdate. Hehe...well my father says i surely can't be someone else's baby because i took on alot of his traits. Minus the drawing talent though, tsk tsk...and at the time i was born, i was the only baby in the hospital. Want to know something interesting? TUNE hotel in KL was once the hospital i was born in, haha...and my mother says her room was on the side facing the monorail track now...gosh, so exciting looking at it, reminiscing how i 'landed' there and became my parent's 1st baby and terribly loony daughter...
*clears throat* okay. Did i say i was loony? And yet i told you i was a (confirmed) Scorpio? How can there be a loony Scorpio?
Now here's where the TIME of birth comes into view. I know it's ridiculously hard to actually know your birth time, most people don't care about it. But it is important if you want to know why you are not typical of your Sun sign. In my case, why am i not like a real Scorpio like they always described?
For this one, you have to begrudgingly trust the one who recorded your time of birth and just leave it at that. No use cursing them if you feel there's a mistake. If the time is not available, never despair...the time is just to note our ASCENDANT or RISING SIGN. If the time is not known, we can still roughly calculate all our signs, Sun, Moon, Mercury, etc just by the full birth date (day/month/year) and still come up with your own individual picture.
All right...the probable dummy wrote...sorry, i mean my birth certificate records that i was born 1 pm. 1 in the afternoon. 1300. What, i was born exact on the hour? Sorry, sorry....haha...okay let's stop acting sceptical and go ahead.
From the time, we can calculate our BIRTH CHART. Listing all our signs by planet. Yes, i said planets. More on that later.
My Ascendant or Rising sign is: AQUARIUS. THE craziest, looniest, sign in the zodiac. AQUARIUS + SCORPIO = contradiction of sorts.
The bonus fact: My MOON sign is also: in AQUARIUS.
Here we have 3 forefront aspects of personality in Astrology: The Sun, the Moon, and the Ascendant. I am a Scorpio + Aquarius + Aquarius.
If you ever meet me, you would see these effects. A Scorpio with a double Aquarius just can't seem to be taken too seriously (which adds up to my frustration when too many people misunderstand me)...
The Sun is our BASIC character. No matter what moon or ascendant or other planets we have, we are always our Sun. I am always a Scorpio, my basic self and my character. Period.
But the 'pengacaus' (those other planets i mean) are there to ADD VARIETY (or spice) to our personality.
The ascendant is our APPEARANCE. Tada! It's our mask that hides our Sun. This is where whe start to become different from others of our Sun sign. I have the appearance of an Aquarian girl: child-like. Dreamy expression. Seemingly detached from the world. (ouch...) Sometimes awkward. Sometimes i look tall. But actually i'm just of average height. My hair has its own life. Partly frizzy. With a distinctive curl on my ponytail. I have at least one weird feature on my face/body (i have numerous). But this part of the self is also the one that ONLY the ones closest to us recognise. It is our inner personality. I'm loony, crazy, snoopy, smurfy, garfield girl all the way. With my family members and close friends.
The Moon sign is our EMOTIONAL self. Aha....and a tiny little catch: We show our Moon sign when we meet a new person or new people for the first time. This is our HABITS conditioned from early life, or childhood. Habits. Which dictates manners. Habits which we get from our conditioning from our parents or elders.
*sigh*....My Moon is also Aquarius. Unfortunate. People are always going to see my dreamy detached demeanour always.
The Moon also shows emotional states. Yes. I am the scientist. Detached from feelings. I do not feel, i think too much. My Moon and Ascendant contradicts my Sun so much it creates frustration. When i feel, my Aquarian side tells me to think rationally (which is actually a good thing, considering the Scorpio nature to be swept away by their passions).
So where is my Scorpio? THIS is me. The Scorpio writing. I am private, i am quiet, i am deep in some ways. I was born sturdy. I can be dark, i can choose to be light. When i like, i like deeply. When i hate, i do it with vengeance (this is more pronounced in childhood...now i'm subdued, i hope). I have jealousy (again, i see this only in childhood, when my father ignored me for all the other kids who, in my small girl's eyes, don't seem to have their own father to play with *fuming* but i have my mother who is always there for me, bless her). And many other dark things i keep inside and bringing out my lighter aspects.
Tomorrow is a week at work. Good night...i shall continue.
Of Blue shirts...
All right, maybe there is something wrong with me. I seem to find that men who wear blue shirts always look sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo nice. Not all, but somehow when a man i know wears blue, he looks so nice.
Or maybe it's just colour therapy...my moods make me attracted to blue...probably coz it calms me (hmm, a lightbulb moment: maybe i should have more blues around me...bright blues!) and it sort of rejuvenates my eyes...
Yeahhh....definitely. My colleague just changed her sweater to a bright blue...and i become more able to see her in a 'clear' light (she's one of those pessimistic negative office staff...she drains me at times). Now she just looks more pleasant and my auric egg is not disturbed by her irritances. Phew.
......................
I was a bit down. Today. At work.
I'm trying to fight it off.
Or maybe it's just colour therapy...my moods make me attracted to blue...probably coz it calms me (hmm, a lightbulb moment: maybe i should have more blues around me...bright blues!) and it sort of rejuvenates my eyes...
Yeahhh....definitely. My colleague just changed her sweater to a bright blue...and i become more able to see her in a 'clear' light (she's one of those pessimistic negative office staff...she drains me at times). Now she just looks more pleasant and my auric egg is not disturbed by her irritances. Phew.
......................
I was a bit down. Today. At work.
I'm trying to fight it off.
Of Nerves
I was born nervous. I think. Well, why did i come out 2 days after the water broke? My mum was probably cursing this stubborn baby the whole time hehehe...
*sigh*. My nerves got a good attack today. Tomorrow is a big day for me...well my paranoia made it big...i had to follow my boss to meet the Customer (a big one, locally, i tell you...)...as i will be taking over of the job co-ordinating from my colleague who will be taking 2 months maternity leave.
He's a boss who's persistent. I don't have to describe more.
Not that i mind that much about the new responsibility...so long as i'm able to learn...but the real problem lies in the other staffs' excitement about the new arrangement. They even predicted that i will face more stress with this job and i should ask for a pay rise. I felt like slamming a black-butted kuali on their noses...
Every real job creates stress. So what's new? And i do not believe in being paid for more than i'm worth...for those of you pestering me to pester my boss about my paycheck, BUZZ OFF.
They say remember your parents when you feel lost. I did. Mum says i should just DO it and ignore what people say. And she also knows how it's very hard for me to ignore people.
My dad says something which makes me remember my own principles: do not think of rewards. Do your job WELL and do not always take the easiest way of doing work. Looking at his painting, i see his honesty. I see his commitment towards quality. He takes care of the little2 tiny2 details that other artists would just be glad to ignore. And his clients appreciate his work.
*sigh* how come my parents are so strong...
I was thinking too much i got a bad headache. But today's not all tense...there's a Rainbow in my life (hmm, my nickname for my new inspiration) and it cheered my heart up :)
And to add more calm, i ask for peace from the ONE who is Always Around....and i got it.
Thank you...Praises to HIM!!
Note: i now understood fully my father's Virgo traits after sitting with him while he paints, this evening. He's a Virgo, but why is he so cluttered and disorganised in his surroundings???
The magical answer is: he is busy pouring out all his energy and spirit and into his paintings. And his paintings are DETAIL ORIENTED it makes you dizzy just wondering at his effort to create the details. He 'spruces' it up to make it 'flawless'...he makes it so 'clean'...he criticises it harshly (we all have a grrreeeaattt time convincing him that it is already fine and the client will like it but no...he is still unsatisfied.) That's where you can see the Virgo side of him...
Other than that, you would just see his Sagittarian fun-lovingness and Leo demeanour...in his Moon and Ascendant respectively...
Hmm. It's all in the mind. The mind works wonders. Now i need to sleep, to rest.
Venus will have to wait.
*sigh*. My nerves got a good attack today. Tomorrow is a big day for me...well my paranoia made it big...i had to follow my boss to meet the Customer (a big one, locally, i tell you...)...as i will be taking over of the job co-ordinating from my colleague who will be taking 2 months maternity leave.
He's a boss who's persistent. I don't have to describe more.
Not that i mind that much about the new responsibility...so long as i'm able to learn...but the real problem lies in the other staffs' excitement about the new arrangement. They even predicted that i will face more stress with this job and i should ask for a pay rise. I felt like slamming a black-butted kuali on their noses...
Every real job creates stress. So what's new? And i do not believe in being paid for more than i'm worth...for those of you pestering me to pester my boss about my paycheck, BUZZ OFF.
They say remember your parents when you feel lost. I did. Mum says i should just DO it and ignore what people say. And she also knows how it's very hard for me to ignore people.
My dad says something which makes me remember my own principles: do not think of rewards. Do your job WELL and do not always take the easiest way of doing work. Looking at his painting, i see his honesty. I see his commitment towards quality. He takes care of the little2 tiny2 details that other artists would just be glad to ignore. And his clients appreciate his work.
*sigh* how come my parents are so strong...
I was thinking too much i got a bad headache. But today's not all tense...there's a Rainbow in my life (hmm, my nickname for my new inspiration) and it cheered my heart up :)
And to add more calm, i ask for peace from the ONE who is Always Around....and i got it.
Thank you...Praises to HIM!!
Note: i now understood fully my father's Virgo traits after sitting with him while he paints, this evening. He's a Virgo, but why is he so cluttered and disorganised in his surroundings???
The magical answer is: he is busy pouring out all his energy and spirit and into his paintings. And his paintings are DETAIL ORIENTED it makes you dizzy just wondering at his effort to create the details. He 'spruces' it up to make it 'flawless'...he makes it so 'clean'...he criticises it harshly (we all have a grrreeeaattt time convincing him that it is already fine and the client will like it but no...he is still unsatisfied.) That's where you can see the Virgo side of him...
Other than that, you would just see his Sagittarian fun-lovingness and Leo demeanour...in his Moon and Ascendant respectively...
Hmm. It's all in the mind. The mind works wonders. Now i need to sleep, to rest.
Venus will have to wait.
Zig zag lightning
So much of work. But i must be grateful. At least i HAVE work. I am busy, and i am not 'goyang kaki'. As lazy as i am originally, i would hate to be doing nothing at a place where i go everyday to work. If i don't have work, then i might as well spend time at home and relax and probably go out somewhere interesting!
Pisces lady is now heavily pregnant. Err, maybe i'm using the incorrect expression but well, my head is off-centre today...what with the unexpected dull pain in my stomach region and the cold in the office and such heavy rain...
There was a LOUD rumble which sounded like a building being bombed. But then it's actually the thunder. And the lightning almost blinded my vision. Don't worry, i survived crossing the road hehe...
Anyway, she looks like she's going to be giving birth anytime so soon...looking so breathless and so tired...
She's not going to the meeting with me. *groan*.
Well guess i shall just have to do it alone then. With my superior (who has the same birthdate as i am). Oh....here i come...
*sigh* there's this one character i feel very intrigued about...this person is a double Scorpio...Sun and Moon...
I can't disclose much. Later maybe.
I was talking about the three Luminaries: Sun, Moon and Ascendant. The three most recognisable, most apparent aspects of ourselves.
Sun is our basic character and our life motivation. Who we are.
Moon is our emotional self...or, feminine self. As opposed to the Sun, which represents the masculine. So, based on my own deduction...women can be defined by their Moon signs and men by their Sun signs. So, i would actually be an Aquarian girl rather than a Scorpio one...
But nahhh...i decided to abandon that. Even though i feel it's true, but i also agree that women AND men are the SAME. Both have masculine and feminine sides to them. Period. Hence, Sun and Moon should be important for both.
Ascendant is our inner self (the one that only the closest to us can see)...most importantly, our appearance and our physical characteristics (it will modify the Sun's characteristics abit).
Now...let's get on to Mercury. It is usually the same as your Sun sign, or it could be the one next to it. Mercury is: the planet of communication. Our thinking processes. Our communication styles. The topics that we like to talk about. The way we talk. Our speech patterns. Fast, or slow? Sharp, or pleasant?
I have a Scorpio Sun and also a Scorpio Mercury. Scorpio Mercury. Makes me interested in mysteries, the dark side of life, religion, philosophy, psychology, etc....
I can use sharp words when i let myself get angry. It will hurt that someone like a blunt knife cutting through the arm (this is stretching the description...this is my Mercury at work, writing, and suddenly describing gloriously violent things...). I used to be outwardly sarcastic. But now i say things with a smile...try to tell myself to 'sabar'...
Someone told me i spoke in a monotone. Like i don't have expression in my voice. Huh? Well let me just think that through. I know the answer. I'm just THAT way. That's the way i speak. At times it's varied, but well mostly i make myself talk like that. Hmm, hard to explain.
So that's Mercury. Briefly.
Next time.
Pisces lady is now heavily pregnant. Err, maybe i'm using the incorrect expression but well, my head is off-centre today...what with the unexpected dull pain in my stomach region and the cold in the office and such heavy rain...
There was a LOUD rumble which sounded like a building being bombed. But then it's actually the thunder. And the lightning almost blinded my vision. Don't worry, i survived crossing the road hehe...
Anyway, she looks like she's going to be giving birth anytime so soon...looking so breathless and so tired...
She's not going to the meeting with me. *groan*.
Well guess i shall just have to do it alone then. With my superior (who has the same birthdate as i am). Oh....here i come...
*sigh* there's this one character i feel very intrigued about...this person is a double Scorpio...Sun and Moon...
I can't disclose much. Later maybe.
I was talking about the three Luminaries: Sun, Moon and Ascendant. The three most recognisable, most apparent aspects of ourselves.
Sun is our basic character and our life motivation. Who we are.
Moon is our emotional self...or, feminine self. As opposed to the Sun, which represents the masculine. So, based on my own deduction...women can be defined by their Moon signs and men by their Sun signs. So, i would actually be an Aquarian girl rather than a Scorpio one...
But nahhh...i decided to abandon that. Even though i feel it's true, but i also agree that women AND men are the SAME. Both have masculine and feminine sides to them. Period. Hence, Sun and Moon should be important for both.
Ascendant is our inner self (the one that only the closest to us can see)...most importantly, our appearance and our physical characteristics (it will modify the Sun's characteristics abit).
Now...let's get on to Mercury. It is usually the same as your Sun sign, or it could be the one next to it. Mercury is: the planet of communication. Our thinking processes. Our communication styles. The topics that we like to talk about. The way we talk. Our speech patterns. Fast, or slow? Sharp, or pleasant?
I have a Scorpio Sun and also a Scorpio Mercury. Scorpio Mercury. Makes me interested in mysteries, the dark side of life, religion, philosophy, psychology, etc....
I can use sharp words when i let myself get angry. It will hurt that someone like a blunt knife cutting through the arm (this is stretching the description...this is my Mercury at work, writing, and suddenly describing gloriously violent things...). I used to be outwardly sarcastic. But now i say things with a smile...try to tell myself to 'sabar'...
Someone told me i spoke in a monotone. Like i don't have expression in my voice. Huh? Well let me just think that through. I know the answer. I'm just THAT way. That's the way i speak. At times it's varied, but well mostly i make myself talk like that. Hmm, hard to explain.
So that's Mercury. Briefly.
Next time.
Love Hit...
Love is a funny entity. It is not a thing (i refuse to call it so, because it is BIGGER than a...thing.)
After all these years since my childhood, i finally begin to make sense of the phrase "Love makes the world go round".
Venus made me delay in writing and updating. Sooooo sorry to my own self...
Simple. My mind does not think too much today. Drove my father's BMW to Azira for lunch with family. Weeee....how smooth! And i can drive! Err, not quite a professional, yet...but still...if my father can say that my driving is good...i should be grateful...but i realise i drive abit too fast for my mother's liking...oh well :)
And, not just there...but straight on to The Curve/Cineleisure for movies!! My parents went in for The Professional, I and brother to The Race To Witch Mountain. Then my father suggested we make a marathon: watch Taken right after our movies!
Good movie. Liam Neeson, woowwwww.....i was awed by his height and his...presence! And he looks older when he was Qui-Gon Jinn...here, he was even dashing. Hee hee....
So after the movie marathon, we went for dinner....and then guess what?
My hand reached for my father's Sun Tzu's The Art of War in the passenger door compartment.
More knowledge.
More awareness.
I'm just starting to read it....after learning and hearing about it all through my history lessons...
This 22nd March will be remembered as the day i first read this book.
After all these years since my childhood, i finally begin to make sense of the phrase "Love makes the world go round".
Venus made me delay in writing and updating. Sooooo sorry to my own self...
Simple. My mind does not think too much today. Drove my father's BMW to Azira for lunch with family. Weeee....how smooth! And i can drive! Err, not quite a professional, yet...but still...if my father can say that my driving is good...i should be grateful...but i realise i drive abit too fast for my mother's liking...oh well :)
And, not just there...but straight on to The Curve/Cineleisure for movies!! My parents went in for The Professional, I and brother to The Race To Witch Mountain. Then my father suggested we make a marathon: watch Taken right after our movies!
Good movie. Liam Neeson, woowwwww.....i was awed by his height and his...presence! And he looks older when he was Qui-Gon Jinn...here, he was even dashing. Hee hee....
So after the movie marathon, we went for dinner....and then guess what?
My hand reached for my father's Sun Tzu's The Art of War in the passenger door compartment.
More knowledge.
More awareness.
I'm just starting to read it....after learning and hearing about it all through my history lessons...
This 22nd March will be remembered as the day i first read this book.
Hello
This is my writings. I'm back after about 7 years of losing trust in writing, online or on paper. But i do continue to keep a daily, yearly journal. Recording all of what happens on each day. Only the positive ones, the negative, i learn that there is no point in dwelling about the past in writing. Just keeping it in my mind is sheer torture.
Thanks to Kak R or NJ, i decided that this is the signal that my subconscious is waiting for...that is to find an outlet for my musings...and just leave my mark somewhere...and to satisfy my urge to express in words...and to keep a part of THE Nur Syuhada, here.
That's why...i'm guessing this is sort of an intended 'Horcrux' somewhat (you may laugh, if you have read Harry Potter!)...as i feel i need to, keep a part of myself somewhere.
Tonight, i say that i shall put all of my personal studies and researches here. I learn all my favourite topics, delight in it, but i didn't write them down!
When i was 6 years old. Standard One. In Bangsar after ballet class. Wearing pink leotard and white skirt. In Bookazine on Jalan Telawi Lima (It was not as glitzy and pretentious like it looks now) beside Pizza Hut where i had a drink with the frothy cream on top (i think my mum mentioned it was Irish coffee or something, now it's not on their menu)...
Mum bought me a Garfield poster, with the cat representing each 12 western astrological signs, and some text on their characteristics. It's hanging on my door now. Sure, i didn't actually understand what it was but then i kept on reading it, re-reading it, and reading it. That's where i discovered that i am born of the Scorpio month. "Ohh, B is a Scorpion!" my parents exclaimed. What's the big deal? Apparently, scorpions are the 'menyengat' kind...other people too, said that.
I analysed the descriptions on the twelve signs.
Thereon, my interest in the occult ignited.
I started to read western astrology (which is, the kind that the majority of us knows today...Aries, Taurus, Gemini, etc. from those horoscope columns they put in papers). I tested it. It worked.
But don't get your interpretations hyped up. THE HOROSCOPES/PREDICTIONS DOES NOT WORK FOR ME. Therefore, i do not believe in horoscope predictions about the future.
What captured my passion then? THE PERSONALITY TRAITS. It entices me. Arouses my curiosity.
I shall continue next time.
Regarding the working world, i am now anticipating a new responsibility that the boss is persistent in making me do it (after my plea to him to consider my lack of experience) and it shall start next week. He succeeded in making me agree to try the new responsibility. I do not want to discuss the details here, yet. *groan*
Fear?
I'd rather not think about it tonight and i shall go to work this week, and depend on my Companion and my inspirations to prevent me from fainting of anxiety.
Thanks to Kak R or NJ, i decided that this is the signal that my subconscious is waiting for...that is to find an outlet for my musings...and just leave my mark somewhere...and to satisfy my urge to express in words...and to keep a part of THE Nur Syuhada, here.
That's why...i'm guessing this is sort of an intended 'Horcrux' somewhat (you may laugh, if you have read Harry Potter!)...as i feel i need to, keep a part of myself somewhere.
Tonight, i say that i shall put all of my personal studies and researches here. I learn all my favourite topics, delight in it, but i didn't write them down!
When i was 6 years old. Standard One. In Bangsar after ballet class. Wearing pink leotard and white skirt. In Bookazine on Jalan Telawi Lima (It was not as glitzy and pretentious like it looks now) beside Pizza Hut where i had a drink with the frothy cream on top (i think my mum mentioned it was Irish coffee or something, now it's not on their menu)...
Mum bought me a Garfield poster, with the cat representing each 12 western astrological signs, and some text on their characteristics. It's hanging on my door now. Sure, i didn't actually understand what it was but then i kept on reading it, re-reading it, and reading it. That's where i discovered that i am born of the Scorpio month. "Ohh, B is a Scorpion!" my parents exclaimed. What's the big deal? Apparently, scorpions are the 'menyengat' kind...other people too, said that.
I analysed the descriptions on the twelve signs.
Thereon, my interest in the occult ignited.
I started to read western astrology (which is, the kind that the majority of us knows today...Aries, Taurus, Gemini, etc. from those horoscope columns they put in papers). I tested it. It worked.
But don't get your interpretations hyped up. THE HOROSCOPES/PREDICTIONS DOES NOT WORK FOR ME. Therefore, i do not believe in horoscope predictions about the future.
What captured my passion then? THE PERSONALITY TRAITS. It entices me. Arouses my curiosity.
I shall continue next time.
Regarding the working world, i am now anticipating a new responsibility that the boss is persistent in making me do it (after my plea to him to consider my lack of experience) and it shall start next week. He succeeded in making me agree to try the new responsibility. I do not want to discuss the details here, yet. *groan*
Fear?
I'd rather not think about it tonight and i shall go to work this week, and depend on my Companion and my inspirations to prevent me from fainting of anxiety.
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