Alohomora - to infinite Doors...

A door is always waiting for you.

Whether it's open,

closed,

slightly ajar,

it's always there for you to deliberate on.

Sometimes there's only one door. Would you want to go in? Or ignore? Or just have a peek? We make the choice.

To make things seem more complicated (the beauty of God's ways), there is more than one door. And would you pass them all and NOT try even one door? No.

Because God pushes you to open doors as long as you are alive. You don't have to prepare anything. Just your belief in your God.

I see many doors. Some people literally 'push' me inside a random door of which only THEY know about. But with my own perseverance (albeit struggling), the door served me well.

For i BELIEVE in Allah's path for me.

I have opened my own doors and got many sweet alternatives in life. And also the bitter and sour parts thrown in.

Those are my musings for my own mind to mind and for ponderers to ponder.


Let's see what i'm feeling this weekend...


My entertainer...my Entertainer, Mr. Michael Jackson...has passed away.

And i experienced a new emotion on the previous morning of which i have never felt before in my whole life. I felt like my spirit was overcome with a sense of LOSS and my chest region was filled with...grief. I have just reached my office. And i know it was a new feeling because it wasn't fear or anxiety that i sometimes get (i'd blame it on my natural disposition), it was a DARK moment and i felt like i've 'forgotten' something. But then i got calmer and continued my day's work...

Next day that same constricted feeling came back when i heard on the radio of the news. They said it was not confirmed...but later it is.

My mum used to record videos of him, all compiled in a videotape and used to play it for me (or rather, it was playing and i watched it a lot) since i was a baby back in Cheras house.

Billie Jean - I LIKE it when he steps the floor and it lights up....and all the purple air about him!

Beat It - LOVE the jacket!

Thriller - disgusted, scared by it. But i liked the ghost dance hehe

Bad - Loved the parking lot and the smoke billowing around and his new white face...nice-looking, that time. Oh and i just watched the FULL video and there's Wesley Snipes too :)

And many more songs...but these FOUR videos/songs really got cemented into my memory forever.

Thank you sir....God bless you and may you rest in peace. I do not believe the allegations against you.

Down Lover's Lane

This was in the shady Permatang Pelajar pathway...i was in my 2nd year at USM and having a relaxing time (before exams...)

I have always been alone. But i'm not lonely.

But when i feel lonely; i am NOT alone. And i'm grateful for that. My LOVE is always with me.

...and other companions...

This is a time when i feel...i couldn't describe it...

You are my Paradise

You are my Obsession

You are my Wishes

You are Ease to my soul

You are Relief for my eyes

You are a Knock on the door of my heart

I know not much else, but i do know this;

I see my God in You, oh what am i to do?

I bow my head to You.

At times it is Your Fragrance; at times it is Your Words

You are that which Lightens up my heart

You are a lifetime of Treasures

Softly it came, tormenting me

Whenever you smile,

It makes the spirit inside me spin with Joy

You are my Good Fortune

You are my Devotion

*adapted from Tujh Mein Rab Diktha Hai. I dedicate this to the one who is in my heart.

Smooth Operator...healing my heart

*Ayah, do you mind me uploading this image?*

Erm, i've already uploaded it...It's one of my favourite paintings :)

Was my Virgo Sun/Sagittarius Moon/Leo Ascendant father's painting back in the 80's. The model was Brooke Shields. His most prettiest muse, my opinion.

Look at it. She's pretty. But see what's beside her head...THAT'S what captures my imagination.

I was already a crawling baby then...i crawled around the house and always passing by this painting and staring at it. I remember the 'yellowness' of it on top of the yellow carpet of our old Cheras house (no it's not a yellow house).

Have i mentioned that i had a long memory? My memory started very young; during infancy. I can remember all the fuzziness of a baby's perception of the world. The scents. The feel of things in my hand. The taste in my tongue of every food i eat. The sounds i hear.

I remember sitting on my father's lap watching him paint. Visiting him in his studio and watching him airbrush (such a thrilling device!). He represents my Sun.

I remember my mum feeding me, taking care of me. Most i remember, she always takes me out to town. Well it's my mother's hands that i remember most, coz it does alot of things to me and for me :D She represents my Moon.

Who represents my Ascendant? My brother of course. He came out 8 years after i have established my own Kingdom in my family...but he feels like my twin though.

WHO represents all three of me? My LOVE of course :)

And my future husband? Wait and see...but he must be my Sun. And i should be his Moon...

I took sick leave today. I was feeling blank yesterday....'MY HEART WAS NOT IN MY JOB' ...

That's what i automatically typed to November guy *bless you; you have been patient!* when the office felt too constricting to my very soul. I was able to do my job, and i was calm and controlled.

But my heart was crying....it was asking for a release, for some solitude, for some nourishment. NOURISHMENT. I have been neglecting my spiritual duties. That's why i became weaker and weaker as the weeks go by...and spirits seem to want to disturb me. And my bravery running low.

Slept and dreamt more deeper dreams. Woke up with work in my head; got it over and done with at 8:45 (emailing my colleagues) and now on to MORE healing of my heart.

I will need to go back to my realm.

Berkat Air Hujan...

....hujan asid....

Friday! It was a hazy morning...and it turned out to be a rainy evening....RAIN!!!!! RAIN HAS COME BACK TO ME!!! (before you judge my enthusiasm, let me elaborate)

It has been SO long since i REALLY enjoyed the rain, or FEEL the rain (you see, i'm writing in capital letters, see how delirious i am now)...maybe i was too absorbed in my work life to notice the rain OR maybe the rain was dull itself. Till today.

The whole day felt cold. I always feel the cold, but this cold was....COOL. It enhances my mood!!

....or was it because i slept soundly for a full 8 hours and it gave me energy without lethargy (what the...i should check that word next time before using it)...

But, on second thought, i was just mellow the whole morning and the afternoon...then when evening came, it was dark outside. Damp. And something is singing inside of me...

Later after work (when i finally get to go down after watching a game of ping-pong...hmm it really does make the office merrier when you add more men :D), we ran in the rain to cross to the other side. HEAVY RAIN. COOLING rain...It has CHARACTER and BODY (no, i'm not talking about coffee)...it carries...EMOTION!

This made me remember the time when i saw an almost rainy atmosphere in my office area, last year. I was standing across it, waiting. Then i took this picture (above). But it didn't rain...instead it just gave me drizzles of possibly acidic raindrops which hit my head and gave me micro-concussions (headache la).

I ran in the rain today and got drenched (but my Prism is still safely dry). It inspires me to write or rather, re-write lyrics from my favourite song from Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi...Haule Haule

Slowly...slowly...a breeze is blowing

Slowly...slowly...medicines are working

Slowly...slowly...prayers are answered

The Moon rises...slowly

A veil lifts...slowly

INTOXICATION hits you...slowly...

My Friend, have a little Patience,

Do not Worry so much,

Life is too short for that!

Slowly...you will be in Love

Slowly...you will be in Love

Slowly...you will be in Love

Water's content

Westin Hotel, 8th June 2008, 8:14am.

I was standing at the entrance of Westin Hotel. Early morning. RAINING. Looking at its neighbour, Pavilion. Which is like a second haunt for me. No, make that my official FAVOURITE haunt. Because we always seem to go there almost every week it feels ridiculous (but we go home satisfied; and i feel rejuvenated). What do we do there, you ask? Shopping? Hardly no.

We go there to EAT, WATCH MOVIES, AND WALK AROUND like we own the place...ha ha...

Forget about Pavilion. I'm missing it these few weeks...pathetic, i know...*rolls eyes*

Back to the picture. I was staying there with family and a family friend for one night. I got to sleep on the sofa (i'm always Sofa Girl in hotel rooms when i see the chance)...and i woke up at 5am.

Took a long bath. And making plans in my mind to go out and take a walk by myself. But of course realistically, i can't do that. So i just content myself in savouring the moment by listening to my music and exploring the hotel literature (brochures and menus laaa) quietly while the others slept...

Then they woke up...the girls...and we agreed to go out for a morning walk and find breakfast!!! Yippeee...i get to do what i wanted to do after all!

And so we went out and stood outside of the hotel entrance. Raining! (my heart was singing). And as the mummies went to borrow some umbrellas, that's when i took this photo.

It was surreal...me at my favourite place and basking in the morning rain...sheer bliss...practically no one on the road, or anywhere...it's just us...walking in the slow drizzle as we continued our walk to find breakfast...it's just like in my dream...


I think Venus will be written soon, the time has come. But...not tonight.

Creature of Love

Awana Genting Highlands 8th February 2009, 9:43am

We were out on a morning 'jog' (or stroll, as in my real intention)...after a big hearty breakfast (yum! my favourite meal of the day, and they serve it so good).

As we were going around towards the apartments below...MIST enveloped us. I was walking along after my brother and Sidekick and my mum, when i felt someone tapping my shoulder. But i know for sure there was no one behind me...only a thick blanket of mist...

Uhh, well there are and always will be Invisible Beings around us, no? :) Just ignore and respect...

Oh, to November Guy: Keep praying :) And you will be alright. I shall always pray for the well-being of all the people in my life.

After that mysterious and curious 'tapping' on my shoulder, i stopped after the bend and stared up front. The mist was slowly enveloping all around us...This is where i got the picture. And all thoughts about the 'Tapper' was gone instantly as i absorbed the beauty and coolness of the atmosphere...so cold yet i felt so warm inside...i felt like grinning like a Cheshire cat but my facial muscles was not working at that moment haha..

Change of topic. Venus is here.

Right, so i shall continue writing about the planet Venus. Venus shows our social side. Within relationships, we tend to show our Venus side. It's more pronounced when you are IN love. With a bang! That's the time when you will be MOST affected by Venus. Let's face it, Venus is the planet of LOVE (or more accurately, goddess of love in mythology).

Venus will only always be in 1 or 2 signs preceeding or following your Sun. If your Venus is in a different sign other than your Sun, then you will notice how differently you act when you are in a relationship, or when you are generally socialising.

If your Venus is in the SAME sign as your Sun...well you are just fortunate that you wouldn't get confused with yourself. Venus and Sun sharing the same sign means the characteristics are more true and stronger, and more enhanced. Your basic character suits your socialising methods.

My Venus is in Libra. I'm not going to describe how that is. But i can say that it is really different from my Sun in Scorpio...next time, maybe i will mention it here and there... :)

*sigh* back to my material world. My first big boss came to my office for a visit. So nice to see him again...i am forever grateful for his kindness and consideration. Him and my Saturnine female boss. If not for them both AND my favourite Pisces lady, i wouldn't still be working there...

*sigh* i would like to quote a Mercury man's words: "Love your job, don't love your company". Three times he repeated that to me. Interesting view...

I know what you are telling me

What's going on with you lately?



Hello again....that was nothing, just a part of a song's lyrics...hmm...it was a song i listened to, or associated with the One with the Cool Aura who calmed me :) With Love by Hilary Duff



I am actually, having an Expressionless Fatigue. I just coined that up. I was quite EXHAUSTED (mentally). There goes my pressure reading tomorrow, ouch...



Today i felt so alive yet so unattached to the world around me. Work was good. I survived. And i was clearly conscious. But i felt like i'm floating...





...like a bird flying around and realising that it is actually still only in the Bird Garden...which is still a giant...big...'cage'...





I have my main job. Still enjoy doing it. And then at times, helping with matters pertaining to THAT Customer. AND i had to still do extra responsibilities. Don't ask, i might tell later. NOT in the mood...

BUT I DO HAVE THE MOOD FOR: My Sweetheart Alya!!!

This one is one of my favourite pictures of her. When she was about a few months old. Her forehead, her nose, her mouth, her eyes, her eyebrows...her hands, her tiny tinkly voice (can also transform into plain big and loud)...her skin...her scent (the masam2 kind)....her NOSE (which is like a direct copy of my mother's) all equals to =

LOVELY.

Now she's all grown up and might i add, BLOSSOMED (Oh hey! She IS Blossom...while her two other sisters can each be the other two Powerpuffs) into a pretty girl of 4 years...my father just came back from KB and with videos of her...oh wow....

When she was born, she wasn't such a pretty baby. But she has the PRESENCE. And that gives her beauty. She was dark; she's not fair.

She has her own mind.

She is intelligent.

She is attractive, charming. Loud. Demanding. But so sweet when she chooses to be.

She has the headstrong character of an Aries...the true inner being of a regal Leo...and the sheer mannerisms and conditioning of a Virgo.

She felt good in my arms :)

Alright. I'm off to Dreamworld.

Black and White or Colour?

"Black and White la" *coz it's more cheaper* hehehe...

Went to print at an internet cafe...well my pretty trustworthy (and hardworking) printer of USM days is now unknown, as to its whereabouts...*sigh* i've neglected it...but it was actually faulty. Right after i reached home for good back from that island...

And wiled away the time by doing personality tests, and i found a great site...www.personalityquiz.net

Oh i'm still recovering from the shock of my results...especially about my priorities in life, eep...

*sigh* alright, till here...