How do you know if you are mentally sound? How do you know what is sane and what is insane...
Got to go.
27 June 2010
The Rashes and The Unknown Comes
You want me to elaborate on that? Sorry, that's something else inside me talking. I might not even know, or i pretend not to know.
30 April 2010
InsyaAllah
Salam to you. So long, yes?
So much has happened, too. A lifetime of...an experience to remember.
God knows what is best...what you can't control, what you have decided, what you have done...you just can't mull over it wishfully hoping you can change it.
That's the art of living...you make a choice, and you design your life's direction.
But things that you can never comprehend...like meeting people...death...birth...you just know that it is HIS doing.
Few minutes before, I didn't know that I will be updating my blog.
I don't know what will happen after this.
I remember what happened before, and some I might like, some I might think I could have done better. But it is not in my nature to be regretful, ironic for a negative person.
It's all in the heart. I have neglected my heart so long, I have conditioned it to be resistant to petty emotional experiences. But was that my fault? It was pre-ordained, my opinion.
A person, a being, came to me. His voice, sang right into me. His eyes took me in his soul. All I gave him was a smile, the brightest smile I ever felt after my gloom over myself, my life, my dead heart, my empty spirit.
And a handshake. Which is nothing compared to the cord already visible.
His smile gave me Joy. My presence gave him Peace.
His voice kept on singing into me...touching my very depths, awakening, healing my heart.
The Moon sees us together...we see the Moon.
God is Witness to our Lunar force.
Now my Moon Companion has gone to live deep within my heart. The time has come for us to part.
He has given me life. He has opened a path for love to fill my heart. He rejuvenates my spirit. With the music of his own spirit!
Now that, is a step which is irreversible...I shall go on with my life, with my very own soul, and the changes that he brought.
I only pray that he shall find his own happiness and peace within him. I pray he shall not be lonely.
So much has happened, too. A lifetime of...an experience to remember.
God knows what is best...what you can't control, what you have decided, what you have done...you just can't mull over it wishfully hoping you can change it.
That's the art of living...you make a choice, and you design your life's direction.
But things that you can never comprehend...like meeting people...death...birth...you just know that it is HIS doing.
Few minutes before, I didn't know that I will be updating my blog.
I don't know what will happen after this.
I remember what happened before, and some I might like, some I might think I could have done better. But it is not in my nature to be regretful, ironic for a negative person.
It's all in the heart. I have neglected my heart so long, I have conditioned it to be resistant to petty emotional experiences. But was that my fault? It was pre-ordained, my opinion.
A person, a being, came to me. His voice, sang right into me. His eyes took me in his soul. All I gave him was a smile, the brightest smile I ever felt after my gloom over myself, my life, my dead heart, my empty spirit.
And a handshake. Which is nothing compared to the cord already visible.
His smile gave me Joy. My presence gave him Peace.
His voice kept on singing into me...touching my very depths, awakening, healing my heart.
The Moon sees us together...we see the Moon.
God is Witness to our Lunar force.
Now my Moon Companion has gone to live deep within my heart. The time has come for us to part.
He has given me life. He has opened a path for love to fill my heart. He rejuvenates my spirit. With the music of his own spirit!
Now that, is a step which is irreversible...I shall go on with my life, with my very own soul, and the changes that he brought.
I only pray that he shall find his own happiness and peace within him. I pray he shall not be lonely.
27 January 2010
Alya Paparazzi
Paparazzi is the song that she likes. It is a song by Lady Gaga (correct me if i'm wrong). Lady Gaga is the epitome of what-fashion-looks-like-before-2012 (just kidding).
2012 was, or still is, prophesised to be the end of this world. This world is definitely, and surely, going to end. It is old, it is in bad condition. But the date? We may only guess, we cannot know for sure.
To be sure of something is an acquired skill. Or maybe you're born with it. "I'm SURE i can make it in this life."
Much as an Aries baby who's sure it could just poke its hand into the cookie jar and get away with it.
A Taurus baby whose dignity shall NOT be challenged into doing what he simply-does-not-want-to-do.
A Gemini baby is just all over the place. Or you could swear that one minute it was being this way and another second it becomes something else.
A Cancer baby is a mummy's baby. It is homey, treasures what Mama (or Papa) gives to him. Home is where the Heart is!
A Leo baby? Will make you know very soon WHO IS THE KING OF THE HOUSE...even from his crib.
A Virgo baby shall be the dream of mothers. Prim and proper, neat and...'cerewet'!
Now here comes the Smile of ALL smiles...the baby who captures your heart with his charming demeanour, his infectious, angelic smile...is a Libra with the Scales balanced.
.....................................that peaceful baby that you're looking at, is a Scorpio. It is silent. It comes looking like it has been asked to come back from war. Its build is almost always sturdy. Or looks like it's made to withstand many blows. You shall see a simple scorpion (who has downgraded himself), a Grey Lizard (who is so unsure of himself) an Eagle (who has achieved BEYOND astrology's boundaries *more on that later*), and a Dove, who has the inner love so few would have.
The previous paragraph is a long one because the fingers tapping on the keyboard now is a Grey Lizard herself. And admittedly, almost going to the scorpion, of the lowest kind.
Sagittarius. Gangly, playful, clownish, oh but handsome, babies. Even the females.
Those granddaddy/grandmummy types who 'tsk tsk' to children their age and agrees with all their more mature counterparts is the dependable, maybe stuffy, very conservative, but special, Capricorn. (Capricorns have a special place in my personal life!) Other than a Libra, their smiles...their grin...is shown very seldom, but it gives you good vibes when you can SEE it. And they have wonderful sense of humour, and comedy.
Aquarius. The bane of my personality...i was born with the Moon and Ascendant in it. It's what dilutes my character. It is the 'black sheep' of the Organisers (you may laugh). They walk in the clouds and never seem to be existing in this plane. Very vivid imaginations, does many things that others do not.
Like reading books with hand mirrors, wearing a container lid as a hat while walking in Bukit Bintang, talking to mailboxes, carrying Thundercat Lion-O sword everywhere (God sent me to the right parents, nasib baikkkk!!!).
Pisces. That's the one who seems to be very attractive to alot of people. Pisces has dreamy, oh so watery clear eyes...which only I know, contains many untrustworthy substances (no offense, not all of them, but few that i know). That is baby Aisya for you.
My, or my family's, Alya is an Aries with a regal Leo and an amazing Virgo influence.
MY MIND-SPIRALLING HOBBY, ON 27TH JANUARY 2012, STOPS HERE. See you again wth more spirals :)
2012 was, or still is, prophesised to be the end of this world. This world is definitely, and surely, going to end. It is old, it is in bad condition. But the date? We may only guess, we cannot know for sure.
To be sure of something is an acquired skill. Or maybe you're born with it. "I'm SURE i can make it in this life."
Much as an Aries baby who's sure it could just poke its hand into the cookie jar and get away with it.
A Taurus baby whose dignity shall NOT be challenged into doing what he simply-does-not-want-to-do.
A Gemini baby is just all over the place. Or you could swear that one minute it was being this way and another second it becomes something else.
A Cancer baby is a mummy's baby. It is homey, treasures what Mama (or Papa) gives to him. Home is where the Heart is!
A Leo baby? Will make you know very soon WHO IS THE KING OF THE HOUSE...even from his crib.
A Virgo baby shall be the dream of mothers. Prim and proper, neat and...'cerewet'!
Now here comes the Smile of ALL smiles...the baby who captures your heart with his charming demeanour, his infectious, angelic smile...is a Libra with the Scales balanced.
.....................................that peaceful baby that you're looking at, is a Scorpio. It is silent. It comes looking like it has been asked to come back from war. Its build is almost always sturdy. Or looks like it's made to withstand many blows. You shall see a simple scorpion (who has downgraded himself), a Grey Lizard (who is so unsure of himself) an Eagle (who has achieved BEYOND astrology's boundaries *more on that later*), and a Dove, who has the inner love so few would have.
The previous paragraph is a long one because the fingers tapping on the keyboard now is a Grey Lizard herself. And admittedly, almost going to the scorpion, of the lowest kind.
Sagittarius. Gangly, playful, clownish, oh but handsome, babies. Even the females.
Those granddaddy/grandmummy types who 'tsk tsk' to children their age and agrees with all their more mature counterparts is the dependable, maybe stuffy, very conservative, but special, Capricorn. (Capricorns have a special place in my personal life!) Other than a Libra, their smiles...their grin...is shown very seldom, but it gives you good vibes when you can SEE it. And they have wonderful sense of humour, and comedy.
Aquarius. The bane of my personality...i was born with the Moon and Ascendant in it. It's what dilutes my character. It is the 'black sheep' of the Organisers (you may laugh). They walk in the clouds and never seem to be existing in this plane. Very vivid imaginations, does many things that others do not.
Like reading books with hand mirrors, wearing a container lid as a hat while walking in Bukit Bintang, talking to mailboxes, carrying Thundercat Lion-O sword everywhere (God sent me to the right parents, nasib baikkkk!!!).
Pisces. That's the one who seems to be very attractive to alot of people. Pisces has dreamy, oh so watery clear eyes...which only I know, contains many untrustworthy substances (no offense, not all of them, but few that i know). That is baby Aisya for you.
My, or my family's, Alya is an Aries with a regal Leo and an amazing Virgo influence.
MY MIND-SPIRALLING HOBBY, ON 27TH JANUARY 2012, STOPS HERE. See you again wth more spirals :)
25 January 2010
Laughter is away on holiday
Heck, i realised i seldom smile or laugh a genuine laugh these few weeks, gosh i have gone underground way too far. Sonic would laugh.
Forget my psycho post. I am ME, myself. I can't and i shall not lose myself.
It's only a challenging phase, yes, ONLY. Saturn is back. Saturn comes back to you when you have lived for 27 years. Technically i haven't reached that mark yet but this is, my 27th year of living, roughly.
Lessons to learn. Obstacles to break through.
Forget my psycho post. I am ME, myself. I can't and i shall not lose myself.
It's only a challenging phase, yes, ONLY. Saturn is back. Saturn comes back to you when you have lived for 27 years. Technically i haven't reached that mark yet but this is, my 27th year of living, roughly.
Lessons to learn. Obstacles to break through.
03 January 2010
Squiggy the Squish
I'm just remembering that bread by Gardenia called Squiggles. Wonder where have they gone? Or maybe i haven't been to shops lately, but noooo...i see so many other new breads...hmm not that it's my favourite but it does match it's name...the cream, the flavour, the pattern of the colour icing...squiggly.
I'm actually half-lucid. Where the HELL do all these bread memories come from i also don't know.
I'm crazy (literally) over the new Envirosax bag i bought. I saw it at the Curve bazaar, just looked at it, attracted by the designs but it doesn't capture my fancy as i've never been a user of soft material bags...more so this type...
But yesterday i bought it. It beckoned to me twice in Metrojaya. Well because my mother DID suggest to me to buy a bag to put all the shopping that i would do in KLCC. And when she said that, this particular bag popped into my mind :)
Oh the joy of that simple, SO SIMPLE, quirky, polyester, eco-friendly bag with beautiful design (mine is red, the Graphic range)...i didn't have to carry those dreadful plastic bags by the handles and making my fingers look like it's going to come off at any second...
Bought it for 19.90RM and plop goes all my precious things of the day...books for myself and my father, toiletries for my family. Shopping toiletries pun kat Watsons KLCC. My friend was like what...beli kat rumah pun bleh benda2 ni...but i'm one of those simple creatures (complicated in my other unique way lah) whose shopping methods are quite unlike the AVERAGE female.
Dah plan nak gi situ...situ plak ada my favourite haunt, which is Watson's...kebetulan it's time to update my family's necessities...beli je lah. And i'm almost always in charge of toiletries-buying in my family. And when i see something i like, i don't go browsing around for 'other choices', i buy it right then and there. No fickle-mindedness (no offense to any avid shoppers reading this :))
Ditto for the bag. I just look at it the second time while walking around in Metrojaya accompanying my friend to buy a birthday present for her male friend...i pick a colour and pay. Takes no more than 10 minutes. No looking back no hesitating...most importantly, it was a necessity, not something on a whim or just because it looks nice.
Today is the second day of my day-out with the bag. To Low-Yatt Plaza with my family. Wheeeeee....i get to fill ALOT of things in my bag!! Look, no lugging around plastic bags! Just me and my pretty bag :)
I plan to ask my mum to take it and use it whenever she goes grocery shopping. Masuk buah durian ke, ikan keli ke, nasi lemak bungkus ke, pun takpe. As long as we are able to say NO to plastic :) Hey, it's washable too.
And aesthetically pleasing.
I'm using my new keyboard. My old keyboard has been working for me since 2004, back in Desasiswa Tekun, USM Penang in my 2nd semester 1st year...sweet black keyboard of mine...but it has gone haywire...my Zs are deletion buttons, my @ and my " interchange, my As are song changers.
Welcome, new silent soft keyboard.
And a CSL phone, too. Still figuring and exploring the features.
And a friend of mine told me he was admitted to hospital (grammar check) for fever...since Wednesday and never told his family, just friends. And why did he choose to tell me now? He said it's because he think's of me as one of his best friends.
I hope he gets well soon.
I'm actually half-lucid. Where the HELL do all these bread memories come from i also don't know.
I'm crazy (literally) over the new Envirosax bag i bought. I saw it at the Curve bazaar, just looked at it, attracted by the designs but it doesn't capture my fancy as i've never been a user of soft material bags...more so this type...
But yesterday i bought it. It beckoned to me twice in Metrojaya. Well because my mother DID suggest to me to buy a bag to put all the shopping that i would do in KLCC. And when she said that, this particular bag popped into my mind :)
Oh the joy of that simple, SO SIMPLE, quirky, polyester, eco-friendly bag with beautiful design (mine is red, the Graphic range)...i didn't have to carry those dreadful plastic bags by the handles and making my fingers look like it's going to come off at any second...
Bought it for 19.90RM and plop goes all my precious things of the day...books for myself and my father, toiletries for my family. Shopping toiletries pun kat Watsons KLCC. My friend was like what...beli kat rumah pun bleh benda2 ni...but i'm one of those simple creatures (complicated in my other unique way lah) whose shopping methods are quite unlike the AVERAGE female.
Dah plan nak gi situ...situ plak ada my favourite haunt, which is Watson's...kebetulan it's time to update my family's necessities...beli je lah. And i'm almost always in charge of toiletries-buying in my family. And when i see something i like, i don't go browsing around for 'other choices', i buy it right then and there. No fickle-mindedness (no offense to any avid shoppers reading this :))
Ditto for the bag. I just look at it the second time while walking around in Metrojaya accompanying my friend to buy a birthday present for her male friend...i pick a colour and pay. Takes no more than 10 minutes. No looking back no hesitating...most importantly, it was a necessity, not something on a whim or just because it looks nice.
Today is the second day of my day-out with the bag. To Low-Yatt Plaza with my family. Wheeeeee....i get to fill ALOT of things in my bag!! Look, no lugging around plastic bags! Just me and my pretty bag :)
I plan to ask my mum to take it and use it whenever she goes grocery shopping. Masuk buah durian ke, ikan keli ke, nasi lemak bungkus ke, pun takpe. As long as we are able to say NO to plastic :) Hey, it's washable too.
And aesthetically pleasing.
I'm using my new keyboard. My old keyboard has been working for me since 2004, back in Desasiswa Tekun, USM Penang in my 2nd semester 1st year...sweet black keyboard of mine...but it has gone haywire...my Zs are deletion buttons, my @ and my " interchange, my As are song changers.
Welcome, new silent soft keyboard.
And a CSL phone, too. Still figuring and exploring the features.
And a friend of mine told me he was admitted to hospital (grammar check) for fever...since Wednesday and never told his family, just friends. And why did he choose to tell me now? He said it's because he think's of me as one of his best friends.
I hope he gets well soon.
22 December 2009
Andai bumi terbelah dua
My little bundle in my arms long time ago :) she's wearing a watermelon shirt. Which makes her look...like a watermelon hehe...she was PRETTY that time
Beautiful painting of Manisha Koirala. I had to take it.
One random baby picture i found on Facebook. Newborn.
Nice one of Kek Lok Si temple. I always feel intrigued by that big standing structure which one can see from certain parts of the town.
13 October 2009
Rant...Express
By the music of Penawar - Ella.
Someone told me i have to express and heal my mind tonight. Doesn't matter WHO that someone was. But it talked to my intuition (or any medium you want to call it). It's somewhere inside me (ugh, so cliche).
"Tolonglah si dia ini...dengan menghampirinya...kerana dia sebahagianmu"
My bloody...dusty (shameful)...keyboard is uniquely growing out of its years...press this key and it comes out another icon...and many other irritating changeables.
Anyway, the phrase in parentheses up there can be found in Penawar's lyrics. Sounds like something YOU always hear and comprehend? Yes. But for Nur Syuhada and the likes of her...the text highlighted in red really knocks on her (their) heart.
Everyone is the same......why bother citing our differences?
I drove from Serdang Raya till Shah Alam ALONE today using the BMW (coz that car's great for me and my driving skills, coincidentally it is also my favourite brand...). Not that i'm really alone; mum drove the Waja coz she brought it to the mechanic near my office building.
I'm a driver who needs silence in order to really concentrate on the road. See, i don't need music, hehe...
What happened to me?
I got a new job.
I'm resigning.
I'm...trembling.
I'm...delirious.
I'm...i mean...
At the same time, i'm...
Something came and i can tell it is significant to me.
Tangible.
I'm.....................
A part of myself is SO SURE of this. No doubts. Only my usual fears.
It is the difficult realization that something other than myself is real. - modified from an Iris
Someone told me i have to express and heal my mind tonight. Doesn't matter WHO that someone was. But it talked to my intuition (or any medium you want to call it). It's somewhere inside me (ugh, so cliche).
"Tolonglah si dia ini...dengan menghampirinya...kerana dia sebahagianmu"
My bloody...dusty (shameful)...keyboard is uniquely growing out of its years...press this key and it comes out another icon...and many other irritating changeables.
Anyway, the phrase in parentheses up there can be found in Penawar's lyrics. Sounds like something YOU always hear and comprehend? Yes. But for Nur Syuhada and the likes of her...the text highlighted in red really knocks on her (their) heart.
Everyone is the same......why bother citing our differences?
I drove from Serdang Raya till Shah Alam ALONE today using the BMW (coz that car's great for me and my driving skills, coincidentally it is also my favourite brand...). Not that i'm really alone; mum drove the Waja coz she brought it to the mechanic near my office building.
I'm a driver who needs silence in order to really concentrate on the road. See, i don't need music, hehe...
What happened to me?
I got a new job.
I'm resigning.
I'm...trembling.
I'm...delirious.
I'm...i mean...
At the same time, i'm...
Something came and i can tell it is significant to me.
Tangible.
I'm.....................
A part of myself is SO SURE of this. No doubts. Only my usual fears.
It is the difficult realization that something other than myself is real. - modified from an Iris
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